Birthday Wishes

 I want to thank everyone for all of the amazing birthday wishes. This has been a great affirmation for me, and I really appreciate it. I woke this morning in a deep melancholy - and one by one you all have reminded me of what I have today.

8 years ago, I faced my 50th birthday alone, having, only two weeks before, walked away from a 30+ year marriage. I had woken up to finally acknowledge the poison that i had been living with daily, and had realized that if i did not leave I would not live. I was loathed, despised, shamed, and maligned every single day for many years, constantly being told how far i fell short of some mythical ideal. On my 50th, I walked down a street, while working on a project in France, and wondered - would i ever be worthy of being loved, would i ever be happy again, was i doomed to be alone, unloved, unworthy, and unwanted. I can't begin to tell you how difficult that year was for me.

Today, I can be thankful, joyous, and yet grieve. I am incredibly thankful for finding a man who absolutely loves and adores me and who I can love and adore in return. I have my children, and his, who also bring love and joy into my life every day. And I have all of you - who I have reconnected with, old and new - who remind me daily of what love, friendship, compassion, and mercy are.

My grief is partly born of the pain of the past, but also of seeing the daily toxicity occurring within our country that is so so so reminiscent of the toxicity of my marriage. The shaming, the blaming, the brutalizing, and the brainwashing of the soul of this country in the name of our so called "faith".

My number one wish/prayer on my birthday is that people start asking really hard questions about what they believe... and be honest about how their politics lines up with their faith. Faith is not a one "issue" matter, yet we line our politics up on issues that don't match what our faith to considers most precious - the souls of humans (all humans). We demonize concepts we don't even understand (why is obamacare EVIL? why is eliminating student debt socialist? how does immigration threaten your well being) and we propagate hate instead of demonstrating love, grace, and mercy. We sacrifice moral imperatives because of so called political ideology that is frankly abhorrent and truly immoral in that it sets out to demonize people and destroy souls.

Will you answer my birthday prayer today and stop the hatred?