Over the years - I've had occasion to spend a lot of time dealing with doctors, medical exams, etc. Being a techie, I am often perceived as having a medical background - just because the lingo doesn't scare me away. But also being a techie, means I tend to look at medicine from the question of scientific methods, protocols, and practices - which I typically find woefully lacking.
This week brought to mind some very poignant reminders of why I find medical practices to be barbaric or reminiscent of the dark ages. Let me share with you two examples - one old, one new.
OLD: almost 30 years ago, my son, at the time not even a toddler, was suspected of having pneumonia. So the doctors wanted xrays done. My son was too young to follow directions from the xray technician, so they had an device for xraying infants, that literally looked like a torture rack...it consisted of what appeared to be a bicycle seat (which the child straddles) in a hole on a table. mounted above the table was a clear plastic cylinder that was hinged. the cylinder was big enough for an infants body to fit inside. The technician plopped my son on this seat, pulled his arms over his head and latched the cylinder closed. Screams ensued... already distressed with pneumonia, this was nothing less than torture. Oh... guess what... this is the modern day version of the device here. Not much better.
NEW: ok so Mammograms are one of the most unpleasant exams any woman must undergo... or so I thought. It's bad enough being smashed as flat as possible on multiple axes, and having to behave like a contortionist to facilitate it.
But this week I experienced even worse. I had to have a breast biopsy done. The clinic made it all sound like it would be a minor thing, that all would be well and that I could quickly return to work. NOT so... this contraption was definately warped...
First of all... why is it, that covering something with pink or lavendar colors makes it a "womanized" thing??? A torture table is a torture table - no matter what the color.
The table alone is enough to scare the bejeebers out of anyone... flat table that has each end raised, and in the middle of the table is this ominous looking hole. Below the hole is the VISE along with all sorts of other equipment. To get into position, I had to lay down so that one breast is hanging down into that menacing hole, one arm pinned to my side, the other arm propped over my head, my feet up in the air over the elevated end of the table. Everyone is making soothing noises at me as I start panting in panic as the VISE closes...it hurts, it hurts bad...
The radiologist and nurses are cooing away while i'm trying desperately to get my breathing under control, but the dang thing hurts. They are saying something about Lidocaine getting injected but nothing is feeling any better at all. And before I know it they are saying ok... now we're going to take a sample - you might feel some pressure but it won't last more than a minute. BUT wait... I'm still in pain from the VISE and now you want to stick that honking big needle into me???? Oh it hurts...really really bad. I consider myself to have a fairly high pain tolerance but I'm groaning in pain now... the radiologist is saying something about just a few more seconds now... I'm reeling in pain.
I had to wait several more minutes while they check that the sample is good, before they finally start letting up on the vise, as I am wondering why in the heck they think this is trivial. They tell me oh... you can take some tylenol and do your computer job today.. no problem. WRONG.
I asked the nurse... like why didn't you guys tell me that this was going to hurt so bad, why didn't you suggest anything for pain management up front. The response was pathetic... well you could have asked for pain meds beforehand???? you guys told me it was MINOR...how was i to know... you set the expectations and i've never been through something like this before.
So being a techie... when the radiologist came back in the room I suggested a process improvement... like maybe you should suggest a pain killer ahead of time? Her response was so calloused it shocked me... well the biopsy only takes a minute...
My sweetie drives me home, I'm cradling myself, with an ice pack packed against my breast... how could they have set expectations so so wrongly. I remained in pain most of the day - fortunately I had some pain med at home that was a bit stronger than tylenol, and I numbly managed through my day but definitely not trying to "work". By the next morning I'm feeling ok, but really very angry about this dark ages approach to medicine.
I found this article which fundamentally shows that it was easily predictable that I was a candidate that was VERY likely to have severe pain. Two factors - very high tissue density and depth of biopsy... and they freaking used Lidocaine - for a deep tissue biopsy. Not to mention the anxiety I already was facing and the torture devices used in the name of medicine. Proper expectation management and proper pain management would have gone a long ways!
When will women's medicine get out of the dark ages, when will the medical community learn to properly manage procedures to minimize pain?
I'm happy to conclude that my results came in - not cancer!
